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Books, Buses, and Broadway: Our Matilda Adventure

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“Just because you find that life’s not fair, it
Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and bear it!
If you always take it on the chin and wear it
You might as well be saying, you think that it’s ok
And that’s not right!
And if it’s not right, you have to put it right!
But nobody else it gonna put it right for me,
Nobody but me is going to change my story,
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty!”

As we have mentioned before, we love to travel. Since the beginning of our partnership, there has hardly been a road trip that hasn’t included us belting out the above lyrics with exuberance. They are the last few lines of a song called, “Naughty” from Matilda, The Musical. This song seems to be our anthem in times when life is extra difficult and challenging. For those who aren’t familiar, Matilda is based on a children’s book of the same name by the famous British author Roald Dahl, who also penned James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. In the story, Matilda Wormwood is a young girl of extraordinary intellectual abilities who was born into a family that not only devalues learning, but also mocks and ridicules the educated. Matilda develops a close friendship with her teacher, Miss Honey, who recognizes Matilda’s gifts and encourages her to continue developing her mind.

Both of us adored this book when we were children. Being two little eggheads who didn’t always fit in with the social environments at our schools, we found many easily relatable situations in Matilda’s story. After meeting each other, we discovered that we have both reread Matilda periodically during childhood and adulthood.

When Lindsey was living in England a couple of years ago, Lindsey was beyond excited to discover that the Royal Shakespeare Company had produced a musical based upon this beloved book. Eventually, Lindsey saw the production in London’s West End and thoroughly enjoyed it. Around the time we decided to begin our partnership, Lindsey discovered the show was going to be making its Broadway debut and shared the Matilda soundtrack with Sarah. Sarah, who had also lived in England for a time, quickly became just as ecstatic about the show’s upcoming arrival in the States. For Christmas that year, Lindsey received a gift of two tickets to see Matilda on Broadway while the show was still in previews. Eagerly, we began planning for a weekend trip to New York City for the following March.

Putting together and executing a travel plan on a budget is one of our favorite things to do together because it allows us endless possibilities for creative problem solving. We’ve had a variety of costly adventures on road trips and bus trips, so saving money where we can in advance is always a high priority. Past adventures have included everything from wheel bearing malfunctions to encounters with large deer carcasses to catching strep throat and walking pneumonia in the middle of a long drive. We never know what’s in store, and we do what we can to save money on the front end. It’s great fun for us to search for coupons, discount codes, and random travel deals together. In this case, Sarah’s knack at working the Priceline.com Negotiator landed us a hotel for under $60 a night, and we found a great deal on two overnight tickets in order to save us a night on hotel costs.

After getting very little sleep on our bus ride, we arrived in Manhattan around 4 A.M. on the day before the show. As we had no formal plans until the next day, we did a bit of wandering until time to check into our hotel. Lindsey suggested that we venture out to Yonkers to visit a bookstore Lindsey had been wanting to see. We went to Grand Central Station to get the requisite train tickets. New York geography is not Lindsey’s strongest point, and Sarah was amused to see Lindsey’s shocked expression upon discovering that Yonkers isn’t actually part of New York City. We acquired nearly as many books as we could carry, took some time to rest, and then headed back into the city to find our hotel in Queens.

On the day of the show, we spent most of the morning meandering about the subway trains and streets, meeting up with Lindsey’s friend Evan, and trading lyrics to our favorite Matilda songs. We had fun imagining ourselves being half as talented as these kids:

With the showtime finally drawing near, we made our way to the theatre. Our tickets were for the upper balcony, which usually isn’t a problem. However, after 30 seconds in our seats, it was clear that Sarah’s vertigo was not going to cooperate to allow Sarah to enjoy the show. Lindsey clicked into high gear problem solving, coordinated with the ushers, and managed to negotiate a plan where we would sit on folding chairs at the back of the mezzanine level, one flight down.

The show was absolutely incredible in a way that only a Broadway show can be. We sat next to each other, each squeezing the other’s hand whenever the show was about to have reach a “good part.” Because we knew the London soundtrack backwards and forwards, we got many chuckles at how the show had been translated for an American audience. We’re so glad that Dr. Who has come to the States so the show could keep the line “But maybe your largeness is a bit like a Tardis, considerably roomier inside” during the scene where Bruce Bogtrotter eats the Trunchbull’s massive cake.

We’re both incredibly excitable people at times. The best part of sharing the show together was having an experience where it was legitimately acceptable to be 110% excited. When you want to bounce with exuberance, you should be able to bounce. When you want to squeal with delight, you should be able to squeal. When you want to dance, you should be able to dance. When you want to review the experience play-by-play with someone else who knows what happened, you should be able to provide your commentary. We continue to sing Matilda lyrics with exuberance because we both absolutely loved the show.

After the show had ended, we made our way back to the Megabus stop to catch a 1:15 A.M. bus bound for home. We had an important engagement the next morning and wanted to do everything humanly possible to get back from New York City. Sometimes you need to be creative to make an adventure work… and sometimes you just need to be a little bit naughty.

Comment Policy: Please remember that we, and all others commenting on this blog, are people. Practice kindness. Practice generosity. Practice asking questions. Practice showing love. Practice being human. If your comment is rude, it will be deleted. If you are constantly negative, argumentative, or bullish, you will not be able to comment anymore. We are the sole moderators of the combox.

Have you ever gone to church with a camel?

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All close relationships, whether among friends or family, include fantastically enjoyable inside jokes. Inside jokes can add a lot of fun. We think inside jokes are great.

Over the last week, we’ve been sharing a lot of serious thoughts. It’s time to mix things up a bit, and let you all in on one of our inside jokes. Humor is just as much a part of intimacy as sharing from an incredibly vulnerable place.

So with that, we ask, “Have you ever gone to church with a camel?”

This question is probably one of the strangest you’ve ever been asked (unless you live in an area where it’s customary to bring camels to church. If you do hail from that kind of community, would you be willing to post a picture in the comments?)

Anyone who has ever had the privilege of being around a napping Lindsey can attest to the fact that you never know what a napping Lindsey is capable of saying. While sleeping, Lindsey tends to ramble constantly. Some frequent topics include (but are not limited to) the following: the physics of water balloons, creative poetical explorations, industrial engineering, diverse letters we wish we could actually send to people, Lindsey’s alter-ego that is a self-proclaimed superhero, and theological rants of various stripes. Because Lindsey never knows what sleeping Lindsey is going to say, Lindsey has grown accustomed to asking for regular sleep-talking reports.

Two Christmases ago, we drove the wildest circuit across multiple states to visit with our friends and families. For three weeks, we spent just about every waking (and sleeping) moment together as we logged over 3000 miles in Lindsey’s car while stopping at hotels along the way. Several other couples we know have commented on how traveling together can act as a crucible to forge a relationship. We’re prone to agree, especially as we never once turned on the music in the car throughout this whole trip because we were so engrossed in conversation.

One night on this trip, the ever-creative sleeping Lindsey asked very loudly, “Have you ever gone to church with a camel?” Sarah had not yet had this experience. After we both woke up in the morning, Sarah delivered the sleep-talking report while laughing hysterically. Lindsey thought this question was rather brilliant and decided to search for a cuddly (stuffed) camel.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a camel? [NB: It’s really really really hard. If you’re looking for one to purchase for yourself, it’s worth praying that a beloved small person in your life avoids camels as a prime animal of interest.]

Over the next couple of months, we searched for a camel. We went to various malls, to specialty toy stores, to museums, to zoos…. you name it. No camel. In April, we found ourselves on another road trip to Saint Louis, Missouri. Sarah had previously lived in Saint Louis and suggested that we go and check out the penguins at the Saint Louis Zoo. Lindsey thinks zoos rock and that penguins can only make a zoo cooler, so off we went. We arrived at the zoo much later than hoped for and found ourselves trying to make the most of the hour before the zoo would close. We bolted immediately to the penguin exhibit. Along the way, we noted that the Saint Louis Zoo also has camels. Since we didn’t exactly have time to traverse all the way over to the camel enclosure, Lindsey had the bright idea of scouring the gift shop to see if there was a camel.

We looked all over the store. At first we found a couple of resin camel figurines, which weren’t exactly what we were looking for. We asked at the register. The person working the register that day seemed to have a vague idea that there might be some stuffed camels among the rest of the African animals. We looked, we kept looking, and we looked some more. We looked as individuals, we looked as a team of three, and we still looked. Finally, on a high shelf towards the left side of the display, we spotted the camel. Victorious, we went to the register to complete the transaction.

Cleopas the Camel

Cleopas wanted to say, “Hello”

We left the store with our new camel tucked securely under Lindsey’s arm. Lindsey is an ardent believer in quickly naming new additions to the family, and we promptly settled on Cleopas. After all, the desire for our camel came from our travels together. One traveler’s blessing we particularly enjoy says, “As you O Lord journeyed with Luke and Cleopas on the road to Emmaus….” Our camel was much more a Cleopas than a Luke.

Our camel has joined us on many traveling adventures and many trips to church on Sunday. Cleopas remains safely in the backseat of the car throughout the service; we figure that most people didn’t bring their camels into the church building with them. For us, Cleopas is not only the result of an inside joke, but is more importantly a symbol of the joy we experience while we travel together.

In case you are wondering, Cleopas did join us on our recent trip to Chicago. Camels are very useful on long road trips.

Comment Policy: Please remember that we, and all others commenting on this blog, are people. Practice kindness. Practice generosity. Practice asking questions. Practice showing love. Practice being human. If your comment is rude, it will be deleted. If you are constantly negative, argumentative, or bullish, you will not be able to comment anymore. We are the sole moderators of the combox.

1 week after the Gay Christian Network 2014 Conference

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While we won’t be making a habit of releasing new posts on Sundays, we decided to make an exception today because it is exactly 1 week after the closing session of the Gay Christian Network 2014 Conference held in Chicago.

We both have a deep love and appreciation for the work of the Gay Christian Network (GCN). Our story as a couple began through our interactions on GCN. For the last two years, we have been blessed to attend the GCN conference together. We value the GCN community because we have found it to be a place where all people, in every situation, from any Christian tradition, can ask meaningful questions about enabling LGBT Christians to live as faithful disciples of Christ. GCN is a community that values the questions and honors the fact that different people arrive at remarkably diverse conclusions.

Sarah started the conference a bit earlier than Lindsey by participating in the women’s retreat. The retreat was a fantastic time of fellowship, song, and prayer, which featured three inspiring testimonies. The testimonies touched on topics ranging from losing a church family to painful lack of family acceptance to healing from the effects of ex-gay ministry to finding one’s partner. Every story that was shared blessed and challenged Sarah in its own way. Rev. Audrey Connor (Disciples of Christ) delivered the keynote and focused on the importance of truly listening to what is being said by the Spirit and by other people. Listening is about being present and honoring the image of God. This shared time of fellowship with over 100 women enabled lesbian, bisexual, transgender, straight, and other woman-identified people to connect with one another before the conference. Sarah was particularly encouraged by the number of mothers of LGBT children who joined in the retreat.

As the main conference began, we started to shift gears in order to meet newcomers to the conference and provide an extra dose hospitality for more liturgical Christians. Conference can be overwhelming as (1) a lot of the attendees have already connected with other people and (2) the structure of the main sessions closely mirrors Evangelical services where a praise team opens with music before a speaker. On Thursday night, Rev. Dr. Christine Wiley (Covenant Baptist United Church of Christ in Washington, DC) had both of us laughing to the point of tears as she shared that she has spent years “trying to make Christians out of church folk,” and “It’s hard work!”

Sometimes, the biggest blessings at conference come where you least expect them. On Friday morning, we (and everyone else in the room) had tears streaming down our faces as Linda and Rob Robertson shared their story of losing their gay son. When their son Ryan first came out, the Roberstons walked the path advocated by many conservative Christian organizations and encouraged Ryan to ask God to change his sexual orientation. Ryan stayed with that course for five years until he literally couldn’t take it anymore. The Robertsons walked us through their experience as parents watching their oldest son develop a severe drug addiction as he tried to deal with his pain of feeling rejected by God and his family. The Robertsons’ grief was palpable because their son Ryan’s 25th birthday was the following Tuesday, a birthday Ryan would be celebrating in heaven. We both cried and cried and cried through the whole story because it was so easy for us to connect with what the Robertsons were saying.

By Friday afternoon, we found ourselves completely over-extended. We make a point of hosting morning and evening prayer times in our hotel room that are recognizable to people from diverse liturgical traditions. Pulling together these prayer times is a lot of fun, but can be a bit draining. Additionally, we presented a workshop entitled “Celibacy Involves Family” that drew nearly 40 attendees during the first workshop session. We had a blast preparing our workshop together, and we’ll likely share some of the content we presented at that workshop in future posts. Yet, all this running around left us feeling a bit depleted. Lindsey felt especially zapped: conferences can be an introvert’s worse nightmare.

We wanted so desperately to serve the community that we had forgotten how important it was to receive care, love, and support from others. On Friday night, we clued in to our mutual exhaustion. We decided that the best thing to do would be to go down to the lobby, find someone interested in eating dinner at the hotel, and have real human conversation about what was going on in everyone’s lives. We met up with Rebecca and James Farlow, two friends we had met at a previous conference who have graciously served by leading the times of musical worship two years running. They gave us the opportunity to share vulnerably about everything we had been experiencing lately: our car accident on the way to conference, Lindsey’s recent job loss, Sarah’s chronic health problems, and our general frustrations with the universe. The Farlows graciously shared with us what was going on in their life together. It was a sacred time of mutuality, respect, and prayer that refreshed us. We decided it would be best to continue refreshing (and unfortunately, had to miss the concert by Bobby Jo Valentine and Derek Webb). Later, another couple spent some time with us as we celebrated the different ways God has blessed all four of us in the year between GCN conferences.

On Saturday, we prepared for the event everyone was talking about: Rachel Held Evans’ keynote! Her kind, gentle, yet thought-provoking speaking style reminded us a great deal of the challenging content she regularly posts on her blog. We found it particularly meaningful that she contrasted the experience of an ally having a shared enemy with the experience of a sister having a shared identity.

Immediately after the keynote, we embarked on quite the mission: trekking over to a friend’s house to use an oven so we could bake bread. You see, we are a part of a closed communion tradition (and do not partake of communion outside of our Christian tradition) and simultaneously value that GCN offers communion during the Sunday morning service. We recognize that for many people in the GCN community who have endured painful rejection by members of their Christian traditions, the GCN conference is the only time they feel welcome to partake of communion. But we also believe that in having an open table at GCN Conference where people can make a choice to commune, it is equally important to honor the choice to abstain regardless of a person’s reasons. Toward that end, we decided that we would offer to bake a loaf that would remain unconsecrated and be available for all people at the GCN conference as Bread of Fellowship (rather than elements of communion). So across Chicago we went with our ingredients, measuring cups, and mixing bowl to our friend’s kitchen. We enjoyed talking with our friend’s partner as we waited for the various stages of bread making (never, ever try to bake bread in a hurry) and then returned to the conference in time for another round of workshops and more fellowship. Later, on Sunday morning, we would pray for every person registered for the conference by name as we cut the Bread of Fellowship into distributable pieces.

If there is one area in which the GCN conference really excels, it is providing opportunities for fellowship. The conference schedule includes significant time to gather with others, and attendees tend to milk every minute for more time together. Saturday night is reserved for an open mike time where people can share their experience of God at the conference. This sacred time always contains so many awe-inspiring stories of God’s faithfulness, and we consider it a distinct privilege to participate. Moreover, no one seems to want Saturday night to end, so impromptu gatherings tend to spring up all over the hotel lobby. We came prepared with several games, and the ever-extroverted Sarah spent hours playing 10 Days in the USA and Catch Phrase with folks. Spending time with close friends playing board games until all hours of the night makes GCN Conference feel less like a conference and more like a family reunion. It’s also a great way to bond more closely with old friends and extend one’s family of choice to include some really awesome new people.

The last general session of conference featured incredible singing from a choir comprised of conference attendees, a talk delivered by Justin Lee that tried to sum up the events of the weekend and encouraged people to continue letting God transform their lives, and a final circle. It’s a tradition that at the last minute of conference, Justin and Trey (GCN’s Conference Director) announce the conference city for next year. We hope to see you in Portland, Oregon 8-11 January 2015.

Overall, the GCN conference provided a rich time for us to be ourselves in community with other people we have come to adore. As a celibate couple, we are able to receive encouragement in our specific vocation from the diverse people gathered. So many people have found space at GCN conference to be themselves, and we hope that you will consider joining us in Portland. We’d love to meet you!

Comment Policy: Please remember that we, and all others commenting on this blog, are people. Practice kindness. Practice generosity. Practice asking questions. Practice showing love. Practice being human. If your comment is rude, it will be deleted. If you are constantly negative, argumentative, or bullish, you will not be able to comment anymore. We are the sole moderators of the combox.